Difficult customers

When Mr F. comes to the pharmacy with his wife, which is often the case due to a chronic illness, the wife has nothing to laugh about - this also applies to PTA Anne G. behind the HV. Mr F. likes to run his wife‘s mouth and extends this behaviour to the PTA. There are days when Anne G. copes with it casually, when she is well rested and feels good. And then there are the days when Anne G. almost feels like bursting with rage inside. This anger weighs on her and once Mr. and Mrs. F. have left, it takes quite a while until PTA‘s pulse beats at the normal rate again. So the inner rage only harms Anne G. herself, because Mr. F. does not change, that much is certain. In an acute anger situation of this kind, there is a powerful instrument: breathing. Unfortunately, you cannot hide behind the HV or avoid the situation in any other way. Escape is impossible. So the first thing to do is to take a deep breath and exhale as slowly as possible. Also Mr F. must have that much time. Why does proper breathing actually calm the body? In Anne G‘s anger at Mr F., stress arises, reactions of the sympathetic nervous system ramp up, the pulse rises, one breathes shallower and faster. If you now consciously control your own breathing towards slow and deep, you give impulses to the parasympathetic nervous system and the body can relax. The arousal level drops, you gain distance, even if people like Mr F. are still standing right in front of you.

Armed in this way, it is also easier to meet Mr. F. in a way you may never have tried before, namely with a certain understanding and a certain basic assumption. Understanding in the sense of »who knows why he has become like this, why he needs to behave like this«. And with the basic assumption that he does not mean Anne G. personally with his insolence. This does not make Mr F‘s behaviour any better, but it does make it easier to deal with it. To be able to take these steps, empathy is also needed towards difficult customers. »What, how am I supposed to be empathetic with him?«, one may ask oneself indignantly. This is helped by the insight formulated by George J. Thompson in his US longseller »Verbal Judo«: the author, an professor in English, karate master and former policeman, is sure that you don‘t have to like your angry counterpart to try and empathise with him, because it is about empathy and not sympathy. This is not an easy exercise when another person always makes you bitter, it takes a little effort, but this path can lead to one‘s own relaxation and that of the situation at hand. Thompson mentions a key sentence that can take the wind out of the sails of difficult contemporaries, or at least the chances of doing so are not bad. The sentence is: »I want to make sure I have understood you correctly.« The sentence shows appreciation for the other person, and that can work wonders.

Mind you: You don‘t have to like your contemporaries because of this; Anne G. can‘t do that with Mr. F. either. But if she manages to react in an empathetic and objective way, her own inner rage may subside. The next step is to take a sporting approach to dealing with impudent, difficult, scheming people, with the aim of becoming increasingly better at this discipline. This also lowers the stress level in the situation and also makes you a little proud when you can deal with these customers in a more relaxed way for yourself in the future. However, there are limits beyond which it is best to clearly point out that this is not the way to deal with yourself. The boss can also put his or her foot down here. If superiors support employees in this way, they will receive even more positive respect in the future. Because it is extremely important to learn in this way: The boss is behind us.

In pharmacy, unfortunately, you can‘t avoid difficult situations with other people. Avoidance is out of the question. But there is one thing you can always do in any corner and at home: calm yourself down with the help of your own breathing. There are techniques that can help acutely and, if done regularly, can reduce basic tension.

In abdominal breathing, you place one hand on your abdomen, breathe in deeply and slowly and feel how the abdominal wall bulges forward. Then passively let the breath out through the mouth or nose without using the abdominal muscles. The abdominal wall lowers. It is important to exhale longer than to inhale and to keep a breathing cycle of about ten seconds. The exercise should be repeated at least ten times. The so-called Box breathing is breathing in through the nose for four seconds, holding the breath for four seconds, breathing out through the nose for four seconds, holding the breath again for four seconds, then breathing in again for four seconds. This exercise must also be repeated at least ten times.